Kili, Fili, and Lili Excerpts
by erebormirkwood
Summary: Lili is the adopted daughter of Thorin. Along with her brothers, Fili and Kili, she manages to get into a lot of trouble. Warning: contains spanking. Please review.


I do not own any of this. The only character that is mine is Lili. I (unfortunately) do not own The Hobbit or any of Tolkien's works. **Kili Fili and Lili Excerpts**

" Kili! Fili screamed. Fili paddled over to his brother.

" Ki? " he asked.

I'm alright Fi" Kili said.

"No you're not…you're hurt" Fili cried...

"Don't cry…I'm not dead yet." Kili said.

Fili slapped him. The whole group gasped and turned to look at them.

"Don't you fucking talk like that!" Fili said as he grabbed Kili'Is and pulled his face close to his." Ever"

"You're not mum! You're not Thorin either! You're just my brother! Fuck you!" Kili angrily said as he paddled away.

"Fuck you too!" Fili screamed after him.

" Fili!" Thorin said. "Watch you're mouth."

"Why don't you mind your own fucking business and go fuck yourself!" Fili screamed.

The whole group gaped in horror at Fili.

"Now listen here lad-"Dwalin said.

"No Dwalin." Thorin interrupted. "Your audacity…" Thorin said slowly trying to remain calm" is really pissing me off. If you wish to speak to brother that way, which I still disapprove of, fine, but don't…don't…EVER TALK TO ME LIKE THAT AGAIN! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" Thorin bellowed his anger releasing.

"Yes Uncle" Fili said.

"AND!" Thorin demanded.

"I'm sorry." Fili whispered.

"I DIDN'T HEAR YOU!"

"I'M SORRY" Fili said louder.

"Thorin…the lads just upset 'bout his brother" Balin tried to defend.

"Are you justifying his behavior?" Thorin demanded.

"No Thorin, I'm just saying-"

"I don't care he knows better" Thorin said calming down a little.

Lili randomly dove into the river. She arose laughing.

"Oh hey a waterfall! Wheeee!" she cried in happiness.

"Where have you been?" Thorin demanded.

" With Legolas"

"The blond elf?" Dwalin asked. "The one with the bow?"

"No the one with the hammer" Lili said sarcastically.

"He stood on my head" declared Dwalin angrily.

"New subject" Kili said as he cleared his throat.

"What's his problem?" Lili asked.

"A fight "Dori said.

"A fight! Between who? "Lili exclaimed

" You know who" Nori said.

" Fili and Kili? Why? What happened?" Lili questioned.

" Fili was concerned about Kili-"

" What happened to Kili?" Lili demanded.

" Too an arrow to the leg" Thorin said.

" Can I continue?" Ori demanded. "Ahem well Kili said something Fili didn't like…so Fili struck him."

"He didn't!"

"He did. So they said a few choice words to each other which I won't repeat. Fili said other certain words to Thorin and Thorin got mad…then there was silence then you came in. Oh Mahal!" Oin exclaimed as Legolas jumped onto the barrel.

"Legolas! You're not coming with us." Said Lili.

"Like I would want to be around any of you damned dwarves. I have a message for your leader. My father says you have made enemies of the Mirkwood elves. "

"Tell Thranduil that he can go fuck himself in seven different directions and that nobody gives a hot wet dragon's arse what he thinks of dwarves. And you can't tell him I said it too." Lili exclaimed.

Bofur snickered." Well it's obvious who wears the pants." The whole company laughed.

"Well I…I…I hope you all die on this stupid ridiculous hopeless quest!" Legolas Thranduilion said. He bound off and disappeared.

"Legolas come back and apola-"Lili said.

"He doesn't have to…we don't care about the opinion of an elf." Thorin yelled back into the woods.

"Lili does" Kili called.

"Well yes Lili does but the rest of us don't."

Kili Fili and Lili all blew a raspberry at where Legolas had disappeared to. They all laughed but stopped when they realized they were all mad at each other.

"We have lost the tide." Dwalin said.

"We must stop Kili is injured" Fili said.

"It doesn't matter…must go on" Kili panted as he tried to get up.

"No! You will just make it worse. "Fili said as he pushed him back onto the rock." I am sorry for what I said to you earlier. It's just that…the thought of you dying just…" Kili laid a hand on Fil's shoulder.

"I know brother. I too am sorry."

They smiled and laughed.

"Jerky anyone? " Lili asked.

"Thank you "Kili and Fili said as they both took a piece.

**Excerpt Two**

"Come with me." Thorin said as he tapped on Fili's shoulder.

Fili gulped and rose to follow. They went upstairs to a bathroom.

"Sit on the stool." Thorin ordered. Fili sat.

"Open your mouth" he ordered as he pulled out a bar of soap.

Fili opened his mouth. _This was a childish punishment. When are you gonna stop treating us like bairns. We are full grown dwarves_ _for Mahal's sake!_ _The last time he or Kili had been punished like this was when Fili taught Kili the Dirty Word._Fili thought to himself as Thorin stuck in the nasty soap.

The soap ran over his tongue ant teeth. Fili chocked and gagged on the taste. Thorin scrubbed out his mouth for five minutes before he stopped.

"You do not cuss at your brother. Or strike him. And you especially do not cuss at me. Am I understood? "Thorin asked.

Fili said "Yes sir"

"Good. Let's go back to the party." Thorin slipped the soap into the sink and left Fili to rinse his soapy mouth.

Excerpt 3

I awake in a thin sheath of sweat. I struggle to maintain my breath as the nightmare came back to me. Thorin on a pony…Fili and Kili in Rivendell. I want it so badly to be real. I get up and put on my clothes and leave to go look at the waterfall from the bridge.

"What troubles you my love?" Legolas asks as he wraps his arms around me.

"Another nightmare..," I say. "This time of Thorin….here in Rivendell"

Legolas scoffs" A dwarf…in Rivendell I've never heard of it. Come back inside its cold" he says.

I follow him back to our quarters and fall back to sleep in his arms. I awake and leave a note to Legolas it reads: My dear Legolas

I love you, but until my dreams go away, I will go to the Lonely Mountain and wait there until Thorin comes. It might take one year or a hundred, but I don't care. I will see you again.

Sincerely,

Lili

I pack two pairs of drawers, a shirt, two pairs of leather trousers, my wedding ring (or it would be if we had gotten married) and a whetstone. As for weapons, I pack the two daggers given to me by Kili, the bow given by Kili, and Swiftice. As for supplies I pack two apples a loaf of bread, and two pounds of jerky with a quarter wheel of cheese. My only valuables are a necklace with a foldable picture of Legolas, Fili, Kili, and Thorin inside.

I leave Rivendell and look back only once. I trot through the forest and run into a man on a sled.

"Hello there." I say.

"Good day to you Madame," he says. He carries a staff and is dressed in brown. A wizard. There is bird poo on his hair.

"Good day to you as well sir," I respond" and who may you be on this fine day? I am Lili of the Blue Mountains"

"Radagast the Brown at your service" he responds.

"Have you seen any dwarves lately?" I ask.

"Aye that I have. Thirteen dwarves and a hobbit. They went that way" he points

"Thank you sir thank you! May Mahal give you a long happy life. "

I gallop off in the direction he is pointing. It leads me strait to Rivendell. I sigh. Fate is against me.

I enter through the Secret Way. It hits me. That smell. I breathe in the familiar smell of Dwarf. The smell of home. I smile. I follow the path and go back to my quarters.

"Where have you been?" he demands.

"On a walk."

" With your stuff." he points to the empty drawers.

"Aye"

"Liar"

"Fine I Iied…but my dreams..."

He sighs. I will talk to Elrond. Have him give you something to make them go away."

"No. I left because… I need to see them. My family…I miss them so much." I admit. If you want to see them so bad…if you must go…I will be in Mirkwood waiting for you." He kisses my forehead and leaves with an "I love you."

I go to see if I may dine with Elrond. I mutter to myself and bump into Kili. I gasp.

"Kili?'

"Lili?" we hug.

"What are you doing here? Why didn't you come home? Mum was so worried and-"

"Kili step away from her" Thorin says.

"Thorin its Lili… she's been gone for.

"I don't know a Lili." He says. "Let's go.

He grabs Kili's arm and pulls him back to Elrond's table. I follow and hide behind a curtain.

I hear snips of conversation. "Erebor…elves…signs"

I retreat to my room. The next day Thorin and Company leaves. I wait half an hour and depart.

Excerpt 4

"Fili" and "Kili" and "Lili" at your service". We say.

"You must be ." Kili says.

An hour later "He's here." Gandalf says. Gulp. They all look at me.

Bilbo answers the door. Fili Kili and I stand up with all the other dwarves. Thorin and I look at each other. Silence. He looks away. My heart sinks. Thorin makes a speech we all cheer. We go to bed on his floor. Blankets and pillows are unrolled over hard mats.

In the morning we eat a hasty breakfast and leave the Hobbit's home. I mount Swiftice.

"I didn't say you could come." Thorin says.

Everyone turns to look at us.

"I chose to."

"Chose to…or someone invited you?" he says with a glance at Fili and Kili.

"Chose to" I insist.

He smiles. "Well it's good that you did. Let's move out." He calls. Everyone smiles and claps me on the back. We ride and start to play catch and tag. This annoys Thorin and he snaps at the three of us to shut up.

To start a new game I say "You know what I'm going to do with the gold we get?"

"What" Fili and Kili ask.

"I'm going to- and then Kili farts very loudly. The whole company laughs including Thorin.

Excerpt 6

"Lili" I turn to look at Legolas" you have to make a choice. Its either me or them" He gestures to Thorin and Company.

"I don't know…please don't make me choose."

"You must"

I look back at forth. Both look at me with big pleading eyes. I step to Legolas.

"No!" Thorin screams. "You may have brainwashed her you elven scum but no matter what she is still a dwarf! You hear me" he yells as they are dragged off to the dungeons.

"You made the right choice. We can have a family of our own." We go straight to Thranduil.

"Father!" Legolas looks up "I knew she would choose those scum. Didn't I tell you… a girl like that."

" No father! She is right here…she chose me. "He happily cries.

Thranduil looks up from his papers.

"My word…that she did." He stands. "Welcome to the family…I knew you would make the right choice". He embraces me and looks at me from head to toe.

"I will have the best dress fitter here immediately for the wedding." he says. I smile. He is falling for it. I am pleased.

"Lili" Kili screams. "Lili"

"Give it a rest…she abandoned us. Left us down here to rot." Thorin says

"No she didn't…she wouldn't…she wouldn't…" Kili retreats into his cell and lies on the bed.

"She would and she did. Her Mahal damned elf was more important than us…her family…and more important than Erebor. You selfish bitch!" Thorin screams.

I am in a room full of soft fabrics. Velvet and silk are draped over chairs and tables. Pearls and lace are hanging from the wall. Different pale ribbons cover a chest. All wedding colors.

"Madame...I do think this would be best on you." My designer says as he holds up a white silk"

"Aye…but do pardon me. The excitement is making me dizzy. I need some fresh air." I excuse myself and go to the cellar. By now the news has reached all over Mirkwood that Legolas and I are to be married.

"Madame…" the guard stands and bows. " Would you like to try some of this wine? It just came from Rivendell." He pours me a glass and offers me a chair. I smile and sip. "Very good. Thank you" I say. He smiles happy that he has pleased the future queen of Mirkwood.

When is back is turned to fetch me wine, I crash it across his head. I put him in the chair to make it seem like he fell asleep. I steal his keys and sneak to the dungeons.

"Legolas is to be married. To your daughter." The guard sneers. "Guess she wasn't your little girl after all…I would pick an elf too if all I was offered was a bunch of ugly dwarves with no crown… no riches...no anything" The guard laughs.

"Pardon me" I say. He whirls around and bows. "Yes Princess?"

"You are to go to the throne room at once."

" Why?" he asks.

"To be fitted for tunics. I want the whole of Mirkwood to be matching for my wedding."

"Begging our pardon but the King doesn't want us leaving our posts. Especially with these prisoners." I turn to leave.

"Fine when I tell Thranduil you have directly disobeyed an order from your future queen…well I'm sure he will be pleased as punch."

"None offense meant Madam. I'll go right away." He bows and scurries off.

I laugh. " Yeah I bet you would think that's funny…so much power now…you'll let us rot for years I bet" Thorin says. Choruses of agreement. I catch the word 'bitch'. I frown.

"Well if that's the gratitude you show me for trying to save you fine…have fun rotting in jail." I say as I show them the keys. Kili's eyes widen and he clings to the bars.

"I knew you didn't abandon us." He said.

I unlock the bars and Kili throws his arms around me. I smile and say "Hugs are great but we need to escape quickly before the guard comes back."

"Aye "he says.

Excerpt 7

Fili ran down the stairs sword in hand shouting with glee.

"Fili" Thorin barked. The smile left his face in an instant "What have I said about being so loud so early in the morning, and running with your sword drawn?"

"I'm sorry Uncle, it won't happen again" Fili says head sinking.

"Fucking right it won't." Thorin hissed dragging Fili by the ear into the kitchen room. He sat and wrenched the sword from Fili's hand and forced him over his knees. E tugged Fili's trousers down.

"Uncle please no" Fili cried.

Smack. Smack. Smack. Fili groaned and began to squirm after another six swats. The spanking went on for six minutes before Fili began to sob and cry out "I'm sorry".

"Do you know why I am spanking you?" Thorin growled.

"Because you're always a grouch in the mornings" Wrong thing to say harder swats to the already pink arse. Fili begins to cry more.

Thorin repeats the question. "Because you have asked me many times to not run with my sword "Fili cries.

"Asked?"

"No told!" Fili corrected.

"Good, and the next time I see you running with a weapon you will be back here. Understood?" Thorin says with a dozen extra hard smacks to Fili's under cheeks.

"Yes Uncle." Fili says with a sob. Thorin lets him up and straightens his clothes and gives him a hug.

"Sorry I'm such a grouch in the morning."Thorin apologizes.

"It's not morning Uncle…its noon."

"Oh shit" Thorin says as he bolts out the door.

Excerpt 8

I thrust the stick into the earth. Only two holes left each a half foot apart. A shelf contains six little seed pouches. One of each crop I plan to grow: corn, turnip, potato, cabbage, strawberries, and beans. Come next winter this indoor garden will feed all five of us. The first thing I plant is the cabbage and I end with the corn. The room contains a water pump that sticks out from the back wall where the shelf is, a ladder on the back wall to the far right where it goes to the loft. In the loft are stacks of washtubs (this rather large room used to be a bathhouse). My back throbs from being hunched over all day so I take a rest on the bale of hay I put in here as a makeshift bed. Knock. A very light shy knock sound the arrival of someone. I open the door. It's Nori.

"I brought these from the library…" he mumbles twirling his toe along the floor holding out some books. " These are from the library…all on gardening…thought you could use them… mind they must be back next week…" he mumbles blushing.

Poor Nori. So awkward around well…everybody. I pull him inside and shove him to the bale of hay. He lands on his butt with a mall thump. I put my lips to his and he immediately shies away. "What are you doing!" he exclaims "You are the princess and me just a…" he gasps. I kiss him again letting my hand travel over his head.

"What the hell is going on in here!?" Dis says.

Nori and I look up. "Nori go home now! And pray I don't tell Dori bout this!" she snaps.

"Yes Lady Dis!" Nori apologizes and runs. She shuts the door behind her. Her only words, words like death to me are "I'm telling Thorin".

"No! Oh please Mum no! He'll beat me…you know he will" I beg. It hurts me to beg, but anything to get out of a thrashing from Father.

"You should have thought about that" she snaps. "Come along, or must I drag you through the mountains like a child" she says.

I square my shoulders and leave. She nudges me ahead and I walk to my doom. We reach our quarters. "Go to your room," she says. Fili, Kili, and Thorin sit at the table drinking ale and playing card.

I walk up the stairs feeling like a prisoner about to be put to death. I listen at my door.

"What has she done this time?" Thorin asks.

_Well gee thanks Father_

"Dis begins. " I saw her… more like caught her doing...sexual activity with a boy" he says.

Thorin's voice goes dark. "Who?"

"And do we know him? Is it someone we trust?" Kili asks.

"It was…Nori. "She says.

"Nori! Not innocent Nori!" Kili and Fili exclaim.

"It doesn't matter! I will kill him for touching her!" Thorin yells. He stops." What it willing? Was he forcing her?" he snaps.

"No Thorin…she was willing…very willing."

Thorin trudges up the stairs two at a time. I scramble to my bed and sit twiddling my thumbs. He slams the door open.

"I didn't raise you to be a slut! And I will not have a slut in this house! You are of the Line of Durin, and not some…some…whore!" He roars taking off his belt. He bends me over the bed and thrashes me bare assed for a whole twenty minutes before he let me up and says " You are not allowed alone in the company of any male by yourself do you understand?" he says.

"Yes Father," I sob.

Dis comes in next and says "You're grounded. No weapon of any kind, no outside except for chores, no nothing. You are going to start helping me around the house with all the chores. Understand?" she asks.

"Yes Mum" I say.

Fili and Kili come in.

"Tell me it's not true…tell me you haven't become a slut like Thorin said you did." Kili begs.

"I'm not. I just wanted to feel…what it was like. What…snogging was like."

will find someone…and Nori is definitely not that someone." Kili says.

"And you're too young for snogging. And not married might I add."

"Tell that to the man who raped me." I hiss tear coming to my eyes.

"Oh Lili…" Kili says sitting beside me and wrapping his arms around me. I wrap myself around him and begin to sob. "That man will never touch you again. We promise." He says.

"And someday you will find the right someone. The someone you want to **marry**." Fili says "And Mom says we have to take your weapons all of them. Sorry mate."

I sigh and hand over everything: my bow and arrows, my sword, both my daggers, and my poison darts. Fili nods and leaves. Kili ruffles my hair and throws me an apologetic glance.

Excerpt 10

I sit on the bench sewing a new tunic for Kili. It's blue with brown leather. Fili's will be red and gold one also with brown leather. Dis helps me sew for a bit before she returns to supper preparations. For a week or so before their birthdays we eat stew and bread in order to save for the good foods. I sew until the light of the sun goes out. Over the next days I finish the beautifully sewn tunics. I show them to the women around the village showing hem the 'tiny careful stitches' and the 'exquisite embroidery'. The humans look at me in awe and admiration until one bitch, a girl my age says

"Aren't you Thorin's daughter? The one that punched a boy in the nose?"

"Yes. I am. But I'll have you know he tried to look up my skirt."

"Maybe he was checking if you had balls instead of a cunt! Most people seem to think you do."

I'm mad now. "Please miss, I don't know what your problem is with me but I just want to-"

"To show off! Oh look at me! I'm so pretty! I'm so talented! Everyone likes me!" she mocks.

"That's not true. Not everyone thinks I'm pretty or talented. Matter of fact-"

"You don't know you're own beauty!" she snaps as she storms away. I cast my eyes down and walk back home.

I know I'm supposed to wait for Thorin to get off work at the forge and escort me home as we walk through the woods, but I have a small but sharp dagger hidden under my skirt and another one in my boots. The autumn leaves crunch underneath my feet as I walk home basket containing the two tunics on my arm. They are laying one on top of the other neatly folded. I just wanted to get a job with Mabel the seamstress in the Village, but thanks to whoever that girl was, I most likely won't. I hear loud stomping behind me.

"Lili!' its Thorin, he's mad at me. (No surprise there.)

He catches up to me an begins scolding/ yelling. "Why did you not wait for me young lady? No! Look at me when I'm talking to you!" he grabs my chin and jerks my face to his "from now on you wait at Bofur's house until I finish up! Do you understand?" he demands.

"Yes sir." I mumble.

"Speak up!"

"Yes sir!"

He nods and walks ahead of me looking back every so often. He grumbles the whole time thinking I can't hear him. We finally arrive home after the three mile walk through the woods and I go to my room and sit on the bed upset with everyone at the moment.

**Excerpt 11**

I look at Kili's bow perfectly smooth, curved and big. I pick it up, test the string. I set it back down and admire its beauty. I see two arrows sitting on the table, tempting me. I snatch both the arrows and the bow and run where I always watch Kili train for archery. Sure enough, the target is already set up, a flour sack stuffed with straw hanging from a string with circles painted on it.

I knock an arrow and pull back the string just as I have seen Kili do countless times. I release and it flies and lands at the bottom of the sack, oh well. At least it hit the sack. I release the second arrow just as Kili comes out of the woods, angry. This one flies and lands a little higher than the other one.

"What the fuck Lili! Those are mine! Mine! You don't touch them! Ever!" he yells. When he says ever he lands a slap to my cheek. He gasps and says "Oh Lili. Please. I'm sorry. Please!"

I retrieve he two arrows from the target and shove them into his hands before running home. I burst through the door and run up to my room dramatically crying all the way.

"Lili! What's wrong?" Thorin asks following me.

I sit on my bed sniffling trying to smother my laughter about what I am about to do.

"Kili…Kili…Kili hit me!" I declare a few false tears leaking down my face.

Thorin's face grows dark with anger. "He what?" he growls.

"He hit me. You see, I was using his bow and-"

"You were what?" he snaps.

Uh oh. I'm caught. "I was using his bow and he saw me so he got mad and slapped me…" I say.

"What did I say I was going to do if you used another weapon without my permission? Hm?"

"You said you would… spank me."

He sits beside me. "Get over here." He points to his lap. I bend over is knees and he lifts my skirts and begins a barrage of slaps to my bottom. Years of working in the forge have made his hands hard and strong. Soon I am crying as he swats me.

"Daddy! Please!" I cry out. This always works. He slows down his spanks and makes them softer and says

"For your own safety Lili, I do not want you using weapons until you are thirteen."

"Yes sir." I fake sob. He stops spanking and lifts me from his lap. That night after supper he sneaks me a cookie.


End file.
